Carpool

It might be dignifying Carpool too much to say this, except that it's absolutely true: Carpool is basically the Canterbury Tales writ small. For those of you who managed to get away from English Literature in college before you had to sit through it (but believe me, you would be very surprised at how many ass and fart jokes you missed out on), it's the story of a party of travellers a pilgrimage who pass each evening by telling stories around the campfire, except in this case replace pilgrimage with carpool and campfire with that thing in the middle of the car between the seats where the drivetrain is. Like many of the Canterbury Tales, these stories are tales of fucking and depravity, but unlike Chaucer's most enduring contribution to culture, Carpool leaves nothing to the imagination. Well, okay, some things, but nothing too significant. Also, there's only one fart joke.

The Spinster's Tale

Kaylani Lei, who is clearly the main character here and is presented as a fairly wholesome young lady, starts things off with a torrid and unfortunately kind of gauzy fantasy scene before she actually gets in the car for the morning commute. She seems to be fantasizing about someone named Marco -- it's a brightly lit but soft-focus romp, in which her imaginary lover does pretty much everything an imaginary guy can do, including taking a generous helping of pussy pie, and fucking her in T-square, cowgirl, RCG and doggie, finally popping on her Penthouse-style soft-focus ass. She wakes to a tongue on her face, but it's her dog Max.

Once in the car, we meet the rest of the cast -- uptight businessman Herschel Savage, feckless goofball Dane Cross, and chirpy horror Nikki Rhodes -- all of them, in their own way, people you would probably chew your own foot off to get away from if you were stuck in a car with them for any length of time. Savage is a cranky, apoplectic executive who practically foams at the mouth at the merest provocation; Cross is a baseball capped wastrel with scruffy chin pubes, and Rhodes is a bright, perky cheerleader type whose every syllable stabs like a knife. Each, though, tells a tale that reveals hidden depths, except for Cross, whose depths are pretty much right on the surface.

The Gambler's Tale

A weekend trip to Vegas nets a lucky Cross 10,000 dollars and a lap full of stripper, and an evening of throwing the one at the other lands him in a motel room with only one of them left. Kylie Wilde shows her appreciation by delivering a sterling blowjob, complete with genuine deep-throat action, and by then proceeding to give him the ride of his life, which technically is not riding because it includes missionary, doggy and spoon, but since there is a considerable amount of cowgirl, I guess it counts. She takes his pop on her chest, just before her irate husband, an angry fellow in a Mexican wrestling mask, arrives.

The Merchant's Tale

Herschel Savage, axiomatically true to the adage that powerful, controlling men long to be dominated in the bedroom, tells the story of how he and his wife engaged in a little "M&M." The scene starts with him and Nicole Sheridan getting geared up in their leather and latex, discussing household matters until she throws him down and starts abusing him, a development he happily accepts. Because it's Wicked sex, the kink is lightweight, but Savage does perform the entire scene in a leather mask, and they both do stay in character for the whole thing. The cocksucking, doggie-style, cowgirl, RCG and spoon are all pretty much exactly as they would be in a non-leather scene, but they definitely manage to keep the kink in the air with all the roleplay talk.

The Whore's Tale

In an attempt to tell the rest of these kinky fuckers that she's not exactly the boring schoolmarmish type they think she is, Kaylani tells the story (admittedly not from this weekend, but from long enough ago that she can't remember what band she was seeing at the time) of how she and Renae Cruz had a threeway with the pizza guy after a concert from which they came home drunk, tripping and broke. Kaylani and Renae take the time-honored path of paying the pizza man in pussy (as a former pizza delivery guy, I can tell you that this happens a lot less often than you would expect, but I can also tell you that most pizza guys would totally take this deal). Marcus London is the lucky delivery guy, and he gets double teamed expertly by the two girls, one or the other of whom he fucks in doggy, missionary, cowgirl, RCG and spoon before blowing his load on their faces.

The Cheerleader's Tale

Nikki Rhodes is also out to show that she's no shrinking violet, and frankly, her tale goes farther than Kaylani's in proving what a filthy slut she is. Instead of knitting or a bake sale, Nikki heads up the coast to a dirty little biker bar into which she saunters, slumming, and takes on Evan Stone and Alex Sanders. They fuck her stupid in front of an admiring crowd, taking their time with plenty of oral and fucking in every standard position you can get into in a MMF threesome. She doesn't get DP'd or even take it in the ass, so she's not a totally irretrievable slut, but she does put on a heck of a show as a wanton.

Ultimately, Carpool doesn't have a point -- it's just a collection of loose stories about people fucking -- but it's still enjoyable, with good sex, hot girls and even a few laughs here and there.

It might be dignifying Carpool too much to say this, except that it's absolutely true: Carpool is basically the Canterbury Tales writ small. For those of you who managed to get away from English Literature in college before you had to sit through it (but believe me, you would be very surprised at how many ass and fart jokes you missed out on), it's the story of a party of travellers a pilgrimage who pass each evening by telling stories around the campfire, except in this case replace pilgrimage with carpool and campfire with that thing in the middle of the car between the seats where the drivetrain is. Like many of the Canterbury Tales, these stories are tales of fucking and depravity, but unlike Chaucer's most enduring contribution to culture, Carpool leaves nothing to the imagination. Well, okay, some things, but nothing too significant. Also, there's only one fart joke.... Read the Full Review!