I don't much care for cream-pie movies (or as my friend Claire calls them, creamy-pies) -- it just seems like the glorification of messiness. Like so many other things in porn, it seems like the people who started making creamy-pie movies took a fairly minor part of sex and blew it up into something way bigger than it deserves (I'm talkin' to you, ATM). If you think about it, the creampie comes after the interesting part -- if you watch some girl dribbling jizz out of her flogged pussy, it's because everybody's done with the porn. Also, there's not much that's dynamic about the cream itself -- it just kind of oozes out. Now if some girl could shoot it across the room into her friend's mouth or something, that might interest me for a couple of scenes, but it's not a genre that lends itself to innovation. So creamy pies aren't really my thing, but porn is, which is why I'm glad that Chris Streams has at least put together a movie that's good porn, with some exciting moments, good photography, and definitely hot girls.
Priva is first up -- she's a little Thai honey with nice tits that are probably fake but still shapely -- they never come out of the lingerie, so it's hard to tell. She's very enthusiastic, very cute, and she's game, it would seem, for anything. She handles Mike Stefano's cock with ease in every hole, sucking with skill and the traditional verve of the Thai hooker. They run through a number of positions, including a standing fuck up against a full-length mirror, and eventually, he pops, as you would expect, in her pussy in spoon; once it's out, she scoops it up and licks her fingers clean.
Loona Lux -- seriously, Loona Lux -- is a French girl who looks like a reasonably-proportioned version of Summer Cummings, if you know who that is. Loona has a decent body with big round fake tits and tiny nipples. She looks to be about five-three or so, and Manuel Ferrara really puts her through her paces, working her asshole right off the bat. There's some very inventive cocksucking, a lot of fucking in pussy and ass, another scene up against the mirror, and finally an anal pop, which she deals with by squatting over the floor and then licking up what drips out.
Annette Schwarz, a very VERY tall, natural-busted German blonde, starts off showing her ass with a pretty big toy jammed up it. She demonstrates some impressive deep-throating on Erik Everhard and Steve Holmes, both of whom are just as ready as she is. Steve gets his ass eaten and Erik fucks her hair -- this is shaping up to be a great scene -- but it's not long before they get to the fucking. They start off with anal, go straight to the DP, and then cycle through a bunch of positions and holes until they blow their loads in her ass and pussy simultaneously. She coaxes the spunk out with her fingers into a glass, and then drinks it down.
Rachel Roxx, in for her first creampie, draws Manuel Ferrara on her dance card. She's a busty hottie (not a natural one, sorry) with pierced nipples and a cute face. She and Manuel trade oral favors -- she gets the better of the trade, I think -- before he opens up her pussy with that big dick. They run through all the positions a couple of times before he pops in her in RCG, whereupon she lets it ooze out onto his cock, which she licks clean.
Audrey Bitoni fits the pattern that's been established here -- big fake tits but not egregiously bad, nice ass, a little tease. She fingers herself for a long time before Michael Stefano comes in, so when he does she's ready. He gets inside her pretty quick, but they go back and forth between fucking and oral; Audrey doesn't do anal in this scene, but she does fuck up a storm in every position, and when he finally pops in her cunt, she squeezes it out onto the glass tabletop and licks it up.
Kelly Wells -- or Kelly Fuckin' Wells, as it says on her driver's license -- claims to be the dirtiest whore in porn, but Chelsie Rae begs to differ; they both show off their time-ravaged genitalia and tout their claims, playing with each other until John Strong and James Deen come in to help settle the question. This is, without question, the filthiest scene in the movie, with both Kelly and Chelsie making strong cases for being the filthiest sluts around. It's a veritable smorgasbord of fuckery, and one gets the feeling that if Streams had brought in a horse, the two would have fought each other over who got to drink its load. In the end, they both end up in the jackhammer position, asses in the air and holes spread by specula, and both of them get their capacious asses filled with jizz by a parade of mopes who shoot in or near their opened gapes. In the end, Kelly takes ten loads in her ass and Chelsie gets five, which I suppose would lead one to believe that Kelly is the dirtiest - except that seriously, once you get above maybe three it's pretty much academic, isn't it? and also except that then Jaclyn Fox comes along, lies down, and they shit fifteen loads into her mouth, which I would say kind of trumps them both.
Collapse.
I don't much care for cream-pie movies (or as my friend Claire calls them, creamy-pies) -- it just seems like the glorification of messiness. Like so many other things in porn, it seems like the people who started making creamy-pie movies took a fairly minor part of sex and blew it up into something way bigger than it deserves (I'm talkin' to you, ATM). If you think about it, the creampie comes after the interesting part -- if you watch some girl dribbling jizz out of her flogged pussy, it's because everybody's done with the porn. Also, there's not much that's dynamic about the cream itself -- it just kind of oozes out. Now if some girl could shoot it across the room into her friend's mouth or something, that might interest me for a couple of scenes, but it's not a genre that lends itself to innovation. So creamy pies aren't really my thing, but porn is, which is why I'm glad that Chris Streams has at least put together a movie that's good porn, with some exciting moments, good photography, and definitely hot girls....
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